Did you catch the breaking news over the weekend about the latest Eurovision scandal?  No? Well, you’re in luck — I did.

As background information, you should know that Britain often used to be in the mix for winning the Eurovision song contest back in the day, but now they routinely finish in — or at — the bottom. The last time Britain won the Eurovision title was back in 1981, with their entry Making Your Mind Up, performed by the group Bucks Fizz. I’d call it an odd little ditty, but that goes without saying, perhaps, since we are talking about Eurovision.

The 2013 entry was sung by Bonnie Tyler.  She finished well pack in the pack, which was at least better than the next-to-last place finish by Engelbert Humperdinck last year.  However, as she roamed around the backstage corridors after the finals of the contest, she reportedly heard a Russian delegation representative berating a representative from Azerbaijan for not delivering the votes that they (the Russians) had paid Azerbaijan for this year.

What? Payola for points at Eurovision? Say it isn’t so.

But that’s what at least one of the British newspapers is reporting. I also read a comment somewhere else (unfortunately, I can’t find the link today) from a woman who was a member of that winning Bucks Fizz group back in 1981. On hearing this bribery scandal news from this year’s Eurovision, she commented that she was “just shocked” to hear that this could be happening nowadays at Eurovision. Her comment was presumably said without a trace of irony, even though it unfortunately immediately brought to my mind this clip from Casablanca.

In any case, this scandal is being reported in the British newspapers. I’m not sure what they are saying in Russia, as I don’t speak the language as well as Bonnie Tyler apparently does.

What – you don’t think that Ms. Tyler overheard the Russian rep and the Azerbaijani rep speaking in Russian?  OK, well, perhaps they were speaking in English, not in Russian. But let’s think about that for a second.  Russian was the official language for many years in Azerbaijan, so it is likely that representatives from these two countries both know how to speak Russian. English is one of the two official languages of the Eurovision Song Contest (the other being French), so most of the delegations at Eurovision probably understand and speak some English. The Russian and the Azerbaijani person were talking in a public place at the contest about their alleged secret — and illegal — plan to exchange money for votes. Which language would have been better for them to pick to argue in? Which one would have been more likely that they were arguing in? I’m just saying.

But I digress.

Anyway, it turns out that Azerbaijan was accused back in May of paying Lithuanian students to call in votes for Azerbaijan’s entry.  This part of the scandal went away when some journalists went undercover and discovered that almost every country was trying to pay students in other countries to vote in this somewhat controversial, not-quite-according-to-the-rules way.

But now there is a full-scale investigation launched to get to the bottom of this latest allegation over whether or not Russia really paid Azerbaijan to make sure one of them won the contest. Neither actually won, and in the end  Russia would not have won even had they gotten the points they (supposedly) paid for but did not receive from Azerbaijan. Rest assured that I’ll let you know as soon as word comes on how this all turns out.

But it is hard to believe that something like this could be happening at a contest like Eurovision. After all, televised competitions are always on the up-and-up, right?  Just like all reality TV shows are always completely real and not scripted in any way. And other competitions that pit nation against nation in a subjective contest — like a song competition or perhaps an Olympic figure skating competition — always feature judging that is completely fair and above-board.

Now if you believe that I really believe all of that, please contact me. I have a very nice bridge for sale that you might be interested in buying. 😉